What does your posture say about you?
Awareness goes a long way. Often just this will change your posture. Sometimes you need more. Sometimes your avatar needs acknowledgment too. More stubborn patterns that are deeply connected to emotions of shame, loss of dignity, or judgment need a third powerful step. Acceptance. Just as it is. Without any intervention or blame or needing it to be different.
Anka came in to see me. She is a very sturdy german woman. Her biological age is 84 and her essence 24. I love her and she doesn’t let love come in easy nor does she show her 24 year old to many. Her life has been hard. She is suspicious of everything. A giant barking dog lives at the gateway of her physical boundaries that scares away anything not committed to seeing straight through to her truth.
Her left knee was swollen 3 times the size of the right. She saw specialists over the years. All leading to the recommendation of surgery which she vehemently declined.
My findings showed inflammation, edema, swelling, and right displacement of her knee cap. This afternoon she was desperate to get out of pain. The inflammation was so much that her knee was so big that it stiffened the hinge joint so she could not walk. She was dropped off at my office and she was pissed. Finally at a point where she didn’t want to be fixed by someone. She wanted to heal.
She told me I am ready to do that breathing. Side note, she always stuck her nose up when she saw me working with people while they expressed emotions when touching their body and breathing.
She put her right hand on her left knee and as soon as she touched it she began to weep. She knew. Today was her day. The dam needed to break. She white flagged her resistance. She was ready. I just witnessed her. I treaded her intentional perimeter with grace. I deepened into my own root and stood as an empty presence for her. This was enough on this day. She stood up and walked out on her own flashing me a quarter smile on her exit.
She scheduled the next day. My knee is responding. I trust you to guide me in this process. Me: You know I didn’t even touch you yesterday. Her: I had a great healing. Me, you are a healer. Her: exhaled so deep that her shoulders dropped, face softened, spine lengthened, and her smile curved. I observed a new woman. One that is ready to let go and grow.
She placed her hand on her knee. Half the swelling had gone down from yesterday’s healing. This time there was a green light in our rapport and I put my hand over hers as she touched her knee. We took some breaths in sync with one another. This awareness opened her to begin acknowledging what she felt. I feel tight. I feel mad. I feel old. I feel so angry. I feel like being a woman has been a curse. I asked her to tell me more about that. What did what she said mean to her? She said she was raped in Germany when she was 24. No one knew and she fled for the United States leaving everything and everyone behind without a word. Noticeably her pelvis that has been putting all the torque on her knee aligned itself when she revealed this. I haven’t given myself permission to be in this world since. Now, are you willing to accept this part of your history as OK-just as it is? No longer needing to change it. Regret it. Judge it. Accept your past just as it is?
She was already there… she said I accept that this is me.
I accept myself for reacting the way I did. I accept myself for being dead nearly 60 years and its all OK. She wept. I stood beside her in love with her rebirth. She stood up and started dancing. Moving her hips and her knee no longer had all of that pelvis tension pulling it off track. She laughed. Well, that was a long time coming. This was when I saw her 24 year old. She was whole. She was herself again. After this she lost 100 pounds began singing again and the freedom in her pelvis matched the freedom in her essence.
The pelvis distortion is often about masking our identity and now she can be seen abundant in authenticity.